Yeah you read that right. I don’t have to get right with the Big Man. Hmmmm.
First off, HELLLLERRR THERE! It’s been several weeks since I’ve last posted but my life has been a tad hectic with my older sister’s wedding and working a bazillion hours a week(I may be over exaggerating) but I’m running on coffee and Jesus right now so I’m good to go…at least until the caffeine wears off. I appreciate each and every one of you reading this, and my other posts *cough cough*. But I am hoping and praying that what I write today can provide some encouragement in your walk with Christ.
What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done? I mean what is the one thing that you keep hidden, locked up, because you’re so ashamed of what you did. Or maybe it’s multiple things. Have you messed up so bad that you think, I’m too messed up for Jesus. Are you stuck in some sin and can’t get out? You fight the flesh but it seems to keep winning. Or maybe you don’t even fight it, but deep down you know you feel the whispers of the Holy Spirit telling you there’s a better way. The weight of it all is getting to you. Maybe you don’t care. Maybe you do care but think oh I’ll get right with God some day. You’re tired of feeling this way, pleasures that promise satisfaction but in reality only leave you empty and wanting more. Oh man I’m way to messed up for Jesus, I need to go to church, read my Bible, do good not bad, I have to get right with God.
Everyone has fallen short of the glory of God. Duh. We are all sinners. Me included. We all struggle with different things and I can tell you I’ve felt like I had to get right with God before I could have a relationship with Him. I thought oh man, I’m too messed up for Jesus why would He want someone like me? I gotta get right with Him so I can be accepted by Him, so I can be the Christian woman I know He wants me to be. There were times when I thought I would just go on living for myself and put God on hold, I wanted to do what I wanted to do. I was so selfish. I took things into my own hands, I’m in control. I’d think, “Oh God loves me no matter what so I can do whatever I want, whatever makes me feel good, happy”. All the while the Spirit was tugging on my heart even though I’d just piled up all my crap I didn’t want to deal with on my back…so I didn’t have to look at it. The weight was crushing me. I didn’t want to think about it.
This isn’t working
Walking away from God was the worst decision of my life. Yes, decision, everybody has a choice. The emptiness I felt, the hurt, the anxiety, whatever, was only alleviated when I finally got the courage and humility to open up the Word of God. For Pete’s sake my Bible had been literally 2 feet from my bed, ridiculous. The peace and comfort the Scripture’s brought me was terrifying. I was so ashamed of how I’d been living. I was so mad at myself that I had given up on God so to speak, and laughed because I thought I was in control. I was disappointed. But most of all, I was hurt and felt guilty. I cried when I read the story of about Jesus and the disciples in the boat. And how they all thought they wouldn’t survive the storm, but Jesus had already told them not to worry and that it would be ok. Why was I feeling this way? I had this gnawing within. And once I finally had enough of being unsatisfied, I had this overwhelmingly thirst and desire to live for Jesus.
I tried to be perfect but that only lead to guilt and shame whenever I did something that wasn’t Christlike or holy. Because of the cross grace and forgiveness and freedom were right there waiting for me to take hold and rest in. I had the wrong mindset. It’s not about being perfect. I didn’t have to earn God’s love or favor. That’s not even possible when we are saved by grace through faith, not of my own good works. Silly me. I didn’t really understand God’s love or that He actually wanted a relationship with me. Jesus doesn’t want a pretend version of you. He wants the real person, who is messy, insecure, makes mistakes, He wants you in your mess.
I had to humbly accept the fact that no I am not perfect, I am weak, I don’t have it all together, and that is why I need Jesus. Also that it’s okay to mess up and that striving to live for Christ is a choice that is made daily. You gotta equip yourself to go into battle. God gave us His Word. We need to study it, so we will be prepared and also so we don’t have to be enslaved to our sin. And when we are no longer a slave to sin, we are free to experience the blessings and eternal joy God has waiting for us. And lemme tell ya, I have not tasted anything sweeter than the name of Jesus, and my heart has never been so overflowed with the joy that I so desperately fought for. Only difference is, His joy can’t be taken away from me. HA.
OK I’m wrapping it up I promise.
You don’t have to get right with God because you were already made right with Him when He took on the cross and was murdered for our sins. He paid our debt, so we are free. Jesus loved us so much that He died for us, and He chooses to forgive us and love us, unconditionally. He didn’t come for the righteous, He came for the sinners and the moment you trusted Jesus as your Savior is the moment you were made right with God, and because then your advocate will be Jesus Himself, you are considered righteous in God’s eyes. So even when we mess up, we have a loving Savior who forgives us and helps us and is there for us no matter what. He died for our sins so that we could have eternal life with Him. Crazy huh?! God wanted a relationship with us. Don’t wait to get right with God because you are already loved and pursued. Instead realize that being a follower of Christ means you need to set aside your selfish desires but also realize that you will mess up and make mistakes and that’s why Jesus offers us His forgiveness. So we can confess it, accept the forgiveness, and do everything we can in our power to fight it. That doesn’t mean we have to do good to cancel out the bad in our lives that we’ve done. We will never be good enough for Jesus, so trying is futile effort. We do good for Jesus because He calls us to live in such a way that examples Christ. Good works do not get you into heaven, they don’t make Jesus love you any more than He already does. And sin doesn’t make Him love you any less. He is so good. God isn’t keeping score. Now I’m not in anyway saying you should go out and sin and it’s okay because you’re loved, I am saying that you shouldn’t feel like you are not good enough, or that you gotta prove to God that you’re good when you’ve fallen astray. And once you’ve tasted how good Jesus is, and choose Him, He will start to transform your heart. I promise you that. The light of Christ shines bright, and shone brighter than my sin. It makes me smile to know that I am soooo loved by Him and the fact that He DIED for me!? Knowing I was going to do that? And He still went on that cross? Why wouldn’t I want to live for someone like that. Something greater. Something eternal. Now that’s something I want to live for. Even if it means setting aside my selfishness, my desires, abandoning my sin, I knew it would be worth it. The joy He so freely gives to us is something nothing of this world can replace. So even when fall, He is there walking with us the whole way. Waiting for us to come to Him. Stop trying to earn His love, and stop living for things that are worldly. Stop being a slave to sin and enjoy the freedom of God’s love and forgiveness. I promise you it’s an eternal satisfaction that leaves you whole and wanting so much more (in a good way).
Okay, I am done with my 4th post, sorry it was so long, not sorry for sharing the goodness of God. I am so thankful the Lord has changed my heart and its affections.
OH! I am also praying for each one of you reading this. I pray that God would give you the power to understand how much He loves you.
“If any of you wants to be My follower, you must put aside your selfish ambition, shoulder your cross, and follow Me. If you try to keep your life for yourself, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for My sake, and for the sake of the Good News, you will find true life.” Mark 8:34-35
“But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in sin, it is by graced you have been saved.” Ephesians 2:4-5